Thoughts on the Void

A brief backstory:

This snip is from a larger collection of fantasy short stories I have written.

In this world, when people die their spirit does not simply get judged and sent to a place of peace or punishment. Instead, after physical death, a person’s spirit is connected with that of a newborn, where they are meant to guide and help the child into adulthood and throughout life. In doing so they prove their own growth, or lack thereof, and earn their way into the afterlife, or are forced to start the cycle all over again with a different child.

This physical-spiritual connection is called the “Symberge.” The connection between a seed (the spiritual) and a master (the physical) allows for the creation of aura. Aura allows for the use of magic.

A seed is physically present in the environment, but is unable to make any physical contact with any living thing. Only the person that a seed is bonded to can see or hear that seed, but all seeds can see and interact with other seeds.

This particular story focuses on Andi of Name Xas, a member of the privileged Arist class. Having grown disillusioned with the class system, and seeking to fulfill his grandfather’s wish of peace for their kingdom, he set out into the world to forge his own path forward.
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“The truth is,” he struggled to say, “I have always loved you. I loved you that first day in class. That’s why I lashed out at Llan. I loved you the very moment you looked at me and saw a boy instead of a pariah. I still love you. I will always love you.”

“I love you, Andi,” she replied and then looked down and backed away from him, “I do, but love isn’t enough.”

He remembered, those were the same words she used the first time he told her– that day under the willow tree. The scars still marked his heart. This time they didn’t hit quite as hard. He’d come to expect that he couldn’t measure up.

Aern stood silently in the corner of the room. His usual facetious poking and prodding was nowhere to be found. His face displayed the same gloom as the day he last parted with his own love– so many lifetimes ago.

“You’re still that same boy. Sure, you’re older. You’re stronger. That’s the thing. You’re strong enough you can save this whole world. You have the biggest heart I’ve ever met,” Zrae said to break the silence, but could read it on his face that nothing would ease the hurt of the words that just escaped her mouth.

Andi stepped forward and then paused. Her face was at war with itself: a smile, tears bubbling, sad eyes looking deep into his. “But, love isn’t enough,” he said, repeating her sentiment.

“You’re all of those things, Andi. You breathe hope into people just by being near them. I could never call you my own. Not when you belong to every soul in this world that needs your help,” tears flowed from her eyes. Her voice cracked as she spoke and the words caught themselves on the sadness amassing at the back of her throat.

“I will be leaving tomorrow,” he said, stepping forward to brush the hair caught on her damp face.

“I will miss you,” she replied, taking hold of his hand.

“You will forget me, just like everyone else,” he grasped onto her hand as it held his. “You speak of me as a savior. I am no such thing. I can’t even save myself.”

“You’re wrong,” she pulled away for just a second. “I will never forget you, Lord Andi of Name Xas, Seeker of the great mysteries of Tun’Tala, High Lord and Knight Protector of Tan’Tarun.” She lunged forward and wrapped her arms around him and then whispered into his ear, “When I think of you, it will be from deep in the places of my heart that no else will ever reach.”

He kissed her on her forehead knowing he would never be able to again. Then he turned away. Stepping toward the door of the room, he took one last look back. She was crying. Her eyes locked onto his.

Aern moved as well, walking slowly by Zrae in the process. It was an agony upon his heart that he could not place his hand on her head and tell her everything would be fine. He wanted to tell her he would keep Andi safe. Though she couldn’t hear the words, all he could manage was, “Be well, young lady.”

Andi smiled and removed the ring that had hung around his neck since the day she rejected it all those turns ago. Placing it on the table, his past had rounded the wheel completely. He walked through the door. Once again, he was all he had.